Shelbi, I was excited to get into your storybook because you chose Aesop fables, which I also what I’ll be writing on. I liked the yellow background with the black and white lion image. The clip art redirected correctly for me, which was good. I think maybe you should switch around the header and make the title more prominent and your name a little smaller, because your name is the first thing I see and I don’t think that’s what you want. The navigation menu was fine and the fonts were good!
Moving on to your introduction: I was so happy you included that picture! I think it complemented your intro well and added a lot. I think it’s interesting that you put yourself in the story and I think it’ll make the stories easier to tell. The fact that the animals could talk and were willing to share their stories with you was cool! I think it was really imaginative of you. The way you set up the whole thing, so that the grandfather lion will be passing along family stories, made sense for your concept. I thought your introduction was clear and concise, which adds to readability. Good job and keep up the good work!
Hi Shelbi, I chose you as my free choice this week. I will be commenting over your storybook cover page and introduction. When I went to your storybook the first thing that grabbed my attention was the awesome photo you have of the lion with his hat and pipe. It made me laugh and sparked my curiosity of what this grandfather lion was going to be like. The yellow background is such a nice touch to your storybook. It is a subtle shade but still eye catching and the palm trees at the bottom made me imagine more of Sahara desert scenery with the lions. Your introduction was different in the aspect that it included a conversation. This idea really kept my attention as a reader because it was easy to follow along with and I felt that I was right next to you as you interviewed grandfather Pride. The conversation you held with him, I think, will flow very nicely into your first story. I can easily picture him telling stories to the lion cubs by the way you described him and the other lions in your introduction. My favorite part of the introduction is definitely the photo. The lion cub in that picture is too cute!! I am excited to see what grandfather Pride has to say about his stories!
Hello Shelbi, I really like your coverpage! It is so much better than mine. I love the yellow background with the desert picture to go along with it. Also the lion seems like it fits very well into it. I have never heard of “Lions of Aesop”, but just by looking at your coverpage it seems like it will be awesome story. To me the lion looks like he’s a detective or something like Sherlock Holmes. I guess I’ll see soon.
Wow! Shelbi your introduction was amazing. I got hooked on it from the very first line of the introduction. At first I thought that you were just telling me a little bit about your self. I was thinking “Wow! She really researched a lion pride for about a year? That is really cool!” Then I kept reading and you said that the lions could talk so I realized that it was all part of your story to begin with! It was amazing how you dove right into the storytelling. I can’t wait to hear all of the different stories that Grandfather tells. I am especially ready for the one about a lion falling in love with a human! For some reason it reminds me of Beauty and the Beast. I can not wait to hear it.
Hi Shelbi, To start off, I really like the color scheme that you decided to go with for your storybook. The colors have a very savannah-like feel to them and made me feel like I was sitting along listening to these stories. I also liked your choice of pictures, that lion cub on your introduction page is adorable. I also like how it looks like you are setting up telling your Aesop stories. Aesop stories are usually kind of disconnected, self-contained stories and it looks like you are going to set them up so they are connected and alive. In addition, you did a good job in separating out the dialogue between yourself and Grandfather Lion in your introduction. It is sometimes hard to separate out who is talking and your straightforward approach worked in keeping them separate, I didn't have any problems telling who was talking. There's not many things you need to fix so far so good job. One thing that could be done is to fix the content tab on the side so the link says "Home" instead of "by Shelbi Sutterfield." Also, maybe play with the theme and colors tab under management and try to change the background color in the content area. The white section is kind of large and kind of takes away from the background them. I really had to nitpick to even come up with those so great job on your storybook!
I really liked your cover page and your introduction! I think the way you set your introduction up is perfect. It goes right into the stories you will tell and was very intriguing. I was actually disappointed when there wasn't a story to read yet, because you basically got me hooked. One very small suggestion is to make the font on your introduction a little bit smaller of a size. Not much smaller, but because of how big it is, it is kind of hard to read. Also, once I got to the dialogue I felt like it needed to be smaller just so I wasn't having to scroll so much. That's just something I thought though. Additionally, although I really liked your cover page and it caught my attention, I feel like you need something else on there. I don't know if an additional picture, more words or a background would help. But although it was cute, it made me feel like something was missing. Other than those little tips, I thought you did a great job and I was impressed with what you have so far! I can't wait to read your stories! Keep up the great work and have a great rest of your semester!
Shelbi, I chose to read your storybook for my free choice in this week's commenting! First of all, I love your pictures you included. I love animals, especially the 'majestic lion'! Since I did not read the Aesop’s fable, your author’s note was quite helpful to read before reading your storytelling for the Lion and the Ass. I like how relevant the overall theme of this story is to all of our lives today. Even if we aren’t animal kings, we are tested everyday with various obstacles and tasks. I like how it reveals the importance of integrity, always doing the right thing despite whether people are watching or not. I like you made breaks in the story and had the story change to one in reality where the grandfather is telling his granddaughter the story. I enjoyed reading this story, your writing style is unique; and I like how your story was very clear and easy to follow and understand. I can’t wait to read the rest of your storybook project! I think animal stories are always fun and entertaining to read! I hope you can checkout my storybook project and see what you think!
Shelbi, what a wonderful storybook! Firstly, I love the set up of your storybook. The dark yellow color scheme and the picture on the front page is simply beautiful. I also think it sets up a good idea for how you want Grandfather Lion to be depicted! I do think maybe you could change the fonts a little to make it a little more interesting? Just something to think about! But I really liked your intro, I thought it set up the storyline very well! The idea of having someone study lions, and those who can talk nonetheless, is such a creative idea! Also, the fact that he's a storytelling lion is so wonderful; I think many people feel all that male lions do are lay around in the sun all day, so adding a storytelling aspect to that is cool. Your first story is wonderful as well! I loved how excited the author got when he said he was going to tell his first story, and your intro set up the stories so well! I think the way he told it was great; how the little cub interrupted him and he turned it into a patience lesson! I think that ties in well with the overall theme of the storybook, like how they teach their cubs all these lessons from a young age. You have a great storybook so far and I look forward to reading more!
Just by the title of your storybook I am super excited to read it! I love Aesop's Fables and I actually almost did my storybook over the lions, or rather big cats, of Aesop's Fables. I LOVE the cover picture! It is adorable! The picture from your introduction is gorgeous as well! I think your introduction is very well written. When I first started reading it I thought you had ACTUALLY gone to study lions for a while! Then I realized that lions can't actually talk so you probably hadn't done that... I liked how easy your intro was to follow and how you basically made it into a giant thesis statement. It helps me know what to expect, story plot wise, in the future. I also really liked how you used yourself as the main character in the story! It made it seem so much more real!
Grandfather Lion is the one from the cover photo! Haha, that is so cool! I really liked how you told the story. I felt like I was standing in the crowd of animals watching the great lion walk to take his place on the hill. I haven't read that particular story, but I like how you stayed true to the original, just adding elaboration. Very well done and I look forward to reading more of your stories later on down the line!
Hey Shelbi, I just wanted to say thank you for your comment on my storybook project! It really helps to get feedback, especially when it comes to this website. Often times its difficult to know if your writings and storytelling makes sense to the audience. I am happy to know you enjoyed my theme for the website. I hope you enjoy the rest of it and thank you again!
My first thoughts upon going to your cover page were that the picture is so funny! The lion looks like he is some sort of detective and it really interest’s me! I think that you picked a good color scheme for your storybook because the yellow color is somewhat of a lions fur color so it goes nicely with the theme! I think it may look a little more pleasing to the eye if you were to center the picture just because the eye is not necessarily drawn directly to it when it is off to the side. But overall I think the cover page looks good! After reading your introduction post of the storybook I found that I was far off on what I though your story was going to be about! I think that this is such a great and creative idea! How did you come up with it? Also I think it is great that the lions can talk and that they are willing to communicate with the human. I think it is cool that each story will be the grandfather lion retelling the story of his pride since we are retelling stories each week in this class! Great job so far!
I wanted to thank for the nice comment you left on my week two storytelling post. I was worried combining two different stories might make it confusing, but I'm glad you said that you enjoyed it. Thank you for the encouragement!
Shelbi, thanks so much for your comments on my storybook! You're such an encouraging and positive person and I'm glad you've enjoyed my storybook so much this far! Thanks again!
Thank you so much for you comments Shelbi! I really appreciate them and I am glad you enjoy my stories. It gives me inspiration to keep writing some more!
Shelbi, I really liked the Aesop tales that I read at the beginning of the semester, so I was already looking forward to reading your Storybook. I like that you show us a picture of the storyteller in the welcome page. It definitely looks like a lion with some interesting stories to tell. I think you have set up the Storybook very nicely in your introduction. It is fun and creative to have yourself as an interviewer for a particular pride of lions that you have been studying. You make it very clear what kind of stories we will be reading, too. These stories of wisdom, strength, righteousness and love are also easy to navigate in your navigation bar. You also set up a practical way to expand the very short Aesop tales by asking Grandfather Lion to expand on a few of the stories. I read “Grandfather’s Story of Wisdom”, too. I thought this was a great story to show off the lion’s wisdom. It’s hard sometimes to choose to stay out of a battle, especially when it is provoked by a fool. It seems that the lion knew that if you choose to fight with a fool, you will end up looking foolish yourself. It was a great story!
I really like the design of your storybook page. The thing that makes me like it the most is the picture with the old lion smoking a pipe and the warm background that give the page a good tone for the story. The overall design is pretty clean and easy to navigate.
The introduction has an awesome picture. Also, the dialogue is very well done, and the intro does a great job of setting up the stories. It hooks you to want to hear the story about the lion falling in love with a human right away.
The first story also has a wonderful photo, really funny. I really like the way that you added the black bars to differentiate between the story scene and the storytelling scene. You made the right choice to add more to the characters of the story.
The second story's photos definitely are not on par with the others on the web site. It makes me feel like the whole story will not be as good just because the photo sets the tone. Also, the black bars were definitely used in a different way. They did not separate the story in the same manner of the actual story and the telling of the story. Fix those things and you will have another great page.
Hi Shelbi, I have already visited your storybook and commented on the home page and introduction. I decided to revisit your storybook as my free choice this week and read the first story, “Grandfather’s Story of Wisdom.” The beginning of your story is exciting! I liked that the Grandfather lion gives such great advice. Once we have wisdom we can’t lost it! I love that the Donkey’s name is Boris. I’m not sure why but as soon as Boris was introduced I began to laugh and was looking forward to reading about how this donkey was going to test the lion. The detailed description you gave of Boris was on point. Setting up the character of Boris as a drunk is very entertaining. I liked that you used “tipsy trot”, “saunter”, and “slur” while describing Boris’ actions. A donkey is also the perfect animal to play this foolish character and I’m glad you kept that from the original story. I’m sure many King animals would want to strangle Boris so I’m glad you included the lion’s honest thoughts that way it is relatable. The way that the lion reacted to Boris’ comment is definitely worthy of being passed down to the lion cubs. The grandfather is doing a great job of teaching his cubs!
The cover page is really cute! The drawing sets the scene well - just the right blend of whimsical and humorous I think you’re going for. Super well done, and the golden theme you’ve picked just adds to the whole thing. The introduction explained things well - the reasonings and explanations for the theme, and why the lions are sharing these stories. I like the thought that you’ll have to nab the attention of the cubs - a very effective way to think about the audience! I’m not exactly sure what you’re drawing from here (didn’t know Aesop had any lion tales) but I’m positive the stories will be great. I enjoy how you give each story a trait. It’s a very nice tie in to the values you kept repeating in the introduction. I read the Story of Wisdom, and ended up a little confused. The story is rather abrupt. I know it’s from a storytelling perspective (not to mention word count problems) but it seemed rather quick to me, the lion’s decision to move on. He remembered words and walked on. You get the point, but it seems a rather stunted moment for such a large event. I mean, this decision is supposed to affect the entire reign (at least it’s implied) and it just seemed abrupt and understated. Perhaps giving a bit more thoughts as to why Lion decided to move on instead of just ‘he remembered words of wisdom’ to help explain it better.
I started cracking up when I saw that picture of the lion with the hat and the pipe. It looked like a lion collided with Sherlock Holmes! Genius! I was a little confused by your introduction at first but then I realized that it was a person who was studying a group of lions and not one of the lion members wanting to know more about where they come from. What I really enjoyed was the experimental aspect of the introduction. They observed and recorded information, even though there is not a hypothesis. I also like that you tell the reader the overall themes of the stories: wisdom, strength, and righteousness. I really enjoyed that you made one of the lion cubs interrupt your story. So typical of little kids to get antsy and interrupt in the middle of a storytelling. I fell as though you brought a very realistic element into your stories, especially since Aesop’s Fables were originally intended to be told to the youth to teach them and help them learn on their journey into adulthood. The Grandfather’s clarification at the end is excellent. I really enjoyed how he clarifies that the story is not just about this one thing but it is all encompassing of many other important traits in a young lion cub. Excellent job. Keep up the good work!
What I loved about the stories...well, I enjoyed almost everything about them, but one thing that really stood out to me was the use of the characters in the story being the storytellers. It felt like Aesop, this whole time, was a wise, anthropomorphic lion and we just never realized it. Anyway, I thought the setup for the stories was great, obviously. I also really enjoyed the retelling of each story. It was really cool for the lions to be the ones getting to hear of their history. It felt much more like a lesson than a fable (if there is a difference).
I also really loved all the pictures of lions. I like lions a lot, so it was really cool to see, especially the angry lion. Brutus, is it? That looked awesome! I am also a big fan of a Sherlock Holmes look for Grandfather Lion. Anyway, I really enjoyed what I read today, and will definitely have to come back to your Storybook throughout the rest of the semester to learn a little more about these lions' Pride History. Great work!
As this is my first time visiting your storybook, I must say that I love the scheme you chose! The background works so well with the picture of the lion that I feel like I really could pass him by in the desert.
With the details you use in the introduction I feel like the narrator (you) is really sitting there telling me about these lions. I think it is interesting that you decided to allow the lions to speak for themselves. It opens so many possibilities for stories to use.
The thing that threw me off on the stories is the black borders you used but once I read it, I think I understand that you used them to divide the storytelling from the real life situation happening. I almost get a Lion King feeling from this story! I really love the interaction between all the cubs and the Grandfather. The morals he is teaching them are really great too. Aesop’s fables really leave a lot of room for creativity and you are nailing it.
After reading all your stories, I think I really like that you are sticking to different lessons to be taught. I am definitely looking forward to reading more from you.
First of all, I think your introduction is really interesting! If it were real, that would be extremely awesome if you got to interview and study talking lions (provided they didn’t eat you, ha ha). As for the dialogue in the introduction, it’s well done. It conveys all the information needed by the reader to understand what’s going on while not being awkward. Also, I like how you convey the personality of the grandfather lion as being wise and strong.
As for your first story, I thought it was good! I think it’s interesting that you give a less foolish reason (in a sense) for the donkey speaking out against the lion than the donkey has in the original story. Rather than the donkey being flat out senseless, you make him a drunkard and thus impaired by wine. I also like that you give a clearer reason than in the original story as to why the lion doesn’t kill the donkey on the spot. It makes a lot of sense that the lion would have lots of self-restraint because he didn’t want his dad to not believe in him.
I liked your second story as well! I think it’s adorable that the grandfather drops his hat and makes an exploding sound; it seems like something a grandfather would do to amuse his grandchildren. As for the plot of the story, I thought you did a really good job! Like in your first story, the motivations for the actions of the characters made sense, such as why the grandfather lion allowed the leopard to steal the antelope carcass. Anyways, your retelling of the original Aesop fable worked so well!
The third story really does do a good job of highlighting the nobility and wisdom of the grandfather lion’s grandfather. It’s good that the lion didn’t trust the fox (his name was sly, after all), and instead used his own judgment in order to figure out what happened. And I’m also glad that you changed the ending to the original Aesop fable by not killing the fox. It would have seemed kind of cruel; instead, allowing the fox mercy while punishing him I believe showed a lot of strength in the form of partial forgiveness.
Anyways, well done! I can’t wait to read your last story!
I read both of your stories “Grandfather’s Story of Strength” and “Grandfather’s story of Righteousness”. After reading your author’s note for the strength story I think you did an excellent job on the changes you decided to make. I like you incorporated such a valuable lesson for the lion cubs; I thought that was perfect! In addition, I thought it was wise to change the animals so they accurately fit with the setting of your story. I love animals, especially lions so I have really enjoyed looking at your pictures! I also liked how you utilized the dialogue. I feel that really is an important style of storytelling and it definitely makes it more realistic and interesting for the readers. I appreciated how you gave kind of a story or background before getting into the grandfather revealing the story. For both stories I thought it was a great idea to put direct quotes from the original story in order to display what you changed or kept the same. I adored your story about righteousness. It was cute how the grandfather tells the lion cub that their duties are to protect and serve others that cannot do so themselves. Great Job Shelbi! Can’t wait to read the last story about a lion falling in love with a human!
I have come back to your storybook as my extra comment because I loved it the first time I read it! I forgot the name of the storybook for a while and who wrote it so I missed out last week! But then I found it again! I still love how you write like it is completely normal for a woman to be writing down stories that a lion smoking a pipe and wearing a hat is speaking to her and the cubs of a pride. Oh you know, just another wednesday. I can just imagine myself sitting next to your main character, enjoying the stories out in the hot savannah sun, wrestling with cubs. It is great!
Do African buffalo eat meat? would they have actually eaten the antelope? I know it makes no difference, because I still love your story, it just caught my attention as rather odd. Maybe if he had been a wild dog or a hyena? I think you did a wonderful job retelling the story. After reading your author's note, I think you did a great job of working it into your story's environment and having it work how you need it. Great job! I cant wait to read the rest!
I had already visited your storybook in a previous week so I jumped straight to reading your stories since I had already commented on your cover page and your introduction page! In your first story Grandfather’s Story of Wisdom; I think it is so cute that the lion is sitting with all the other small young restless cubs around him. I think that you did a great job of showing how eager and excited the cubs are to hear about their history. I think that helps to strengthen the fact that the whole point of the story is to have the human be writing all of these stories down. I like the cubs reaction to him telling them he just brushed the donkey off. It was a good lesson for them to learn that sometimes you just have to let things go and not let them bother you. I really like that you decided to include a picture on this story page because I feel that it really helps to strengthen the information that the reader is going to be getting out of the story. So far great job, I think you have a very storing storybook and it was a great idea!
I came back for another Lion story and I was not disappointed. I had already read this fable myself, so it was really cool to get it from the Lion's perspective in a way. Or at least with the background the Grandfather Lion had set up. Anyway, I really loved the continuation of the running theme of different lion character traits. Plus, this story was just a lot of fun to read.
Again, I can't get enough of Grandfather Lion. Everything just screams British with him. I love that. I am also really excited for the final story. I think it is going to be a story of "Love", coming from the end of the "Righteousness" story, but I keep racking my brain and coming up short on an Aesop Fable that is about a lion that falls in love with a human. Should be a good read!
Hi again Shelbi, I really enjoyed your entries into your storybook, I'm glad I decided to come back and read some more. First off I love your picture choices for each section, they are very cool photos that fit well into your stories. The one for the story of strength was hilarious. I also like how you tied all of the stories together by having the grandfather lion tell the cubs all of those stories with morals, which kept the original purpose of the fables which was to instruct. It is also the first time I have seen anyone divide the segments of each story by breaking them up with a line, it actually works really well, since sometimes stories jump around without the reader noticing. I also liked how you tied your stories together involving the lion's family history instead of just making them unrelated short stories that the narrator tells. The only thing that threw me off was that in the story of strength, Brutus fights a buffalo for the dead antelope to eat. I liked how the story turned out but I wish you would have used a different animal other than the buffalo, which is not carnivorous. Again, that is me nitpicking because your story is very good and very difficult to find any errors in.
I have actually read that story before and I think you did an excellent job retelling it! I also have to say that I love how you write your stories. The flow so well from the lion and main character interacting to the story being told and then back to the real world of the story. I love how your characters interact and that grandfather lion has to wear his hat and have his pipe to tell his stories! I could imagine a little old human man doing the exact same thing with his own grandchildren! I also think it was a good idea to have the lion not kill the fox, for the sake of the cubs, but also because I think it wouldn't make the lion as righteous and the story was trying to show. By sparing the fox and just exiling him, he is showing that he isn't just a murderous brute, but a good and righteous king! I am curious as to how she knows what his last story is going to be. Did he tell her at some point and I just missed it? If possible, maybe give just a little clarification on how she knows what the story is? Unless you already have and I just can't remember... Which is highly possible... Anyway, wonderful job! I can't wait to come back and read the last story!
Shelbi, thanks for the input this semester on my storybook, The Princess Constellations! The gif seems to have been a big hit!
I had definitely intended to give these stories modern princess feels. If I had continued with my storybook, my next one was going to be a Sleeping Beauty feel! Dang!
Hopefully the semester was good for you! Thank you for the kind input!
Shelbi, I was excited to get into your storybook because you chose Aesop fables, which I also what I’ll be writing on. I liked the yellow background with the black and white lion image. The clip art redirected correctly for me, which was good. I think maybe you should switch around the header and make the title more prominent and your name a little smaller, because your name is the first thing I see and I don’t think that’s what you want. The navigation menu was fine and the fonts were good!
ReplyDeleteMoving on to your introduction: I was so happy you included that picture! I think it complemented your intro well and added a lot. I think it’s interesting that you put yourself in the story and I think it’ll make the stories easier to tell. The fact that the animals could talk and were willing to share their stories with you was cool! I think it was really imaginative of you. The way you set up the whole thing, so that the grandfather lion will be passing along family stories, made sense for your concept. I thought your introduction was clear and concise, which adds to readability. Good job and keep up the good work!
Hi Shelbi, I chose you as my free choice this week. I will be commenting over your storybook cover page and introduction. When I went to your storybook the first thing that grabbed my attention was the awesome photo you have of the lion with his hat and pipe. It made me laugh and sparked my curiosity of what this grandfather lion was going to be like. The yellow background is such a nice touch to your storybook. It is a subtle shade but still eye catching and the palm trees at the bottom made me imagine more of Sahara desert scenery with the lions. Your introduction was different in the aspect that it included a conversation. This idea really kept my attention as a reader because it was easy to follow along with and I felt that I was right next to you as you interviewed grandfather Pride. The conversation you held with him, I think, will flow very nicely into your first story. I can easily picture him telling stories to the lion cubs by the way you described him and the other lions in your introduction. My favorite part of the introduction is definitely the photo. The lion cub in that picture is too cute!! I am excited to see what grandfather Pride has to say about his stories!
ReplyDeleteHello Shelbi, I really like your coverpage! It is so much better than mine. I love the yellow background with the desert picture to go along with it. Also the lion seems like it fits very well into it. I have never heard of “Lions of Aesop”, but just by looking at your coverpage it seems like it will be awesome story. To me the lion looks like he’s a detective or something like Sherlock Holmes. I guess I’ll see soon.
ReplyDeleteWow! Shelbi your introduction was amazing. I got hooked on it from the very first line of the introduction. At first I thought that you were just telling me a little bit about your self. I was thinking “Wow! She really researched a lion pride for about a year? That is really cool!” Then I kept reading and you said that the lions could talk so I realized that it was all part of your story to begin with! It was amazing how you dove right into the storytelling. I can’t wait to hear all of the different stories that Grandfather tells. I am especially ready for the one about a lion falling in love with a human! For some reason it reminds me of Beauty and the Beast. I can not wait to hear it.
Hi Shelbi,
ReplyDeleteTo start off, I really like the color scheme that you decided to go with for your storybook. The colors have a very savannah-like feel to them and made me feel like I was sitting along listening to these stories. I also liked your choice of pictures, that lion cub on your introduction page is adorable. I also like how it looks like you are setting up telling your Aesop stories. Aesop stories are usually kind of disconnected, self-contained stories and it looks like you are going to set them up so they are connected and alive. In addition, you did a good job in separating out the dialogue between yourself and Grandfather Lion in your introduction. It is sometimes hard to separate out who is talking and your straightforward approach worked in keeping them separate, I didn't have any problems telling who was talking. There's not many things you need to fix so far so good job. One thing that could be done is to fix the content tab on the side so the link says "Home" instead of "by Shelbi Sutterfield." Also, maybe play with the theme and colors tab under management and try to change the background color in the content area. The white section is kind of large and kind of takes away from the background them. I really had to nitpick to even come up with those so great job on your storybook!
I really liked your cover page and your introduction! I think the way you set your introduction up is perfect. It goes right into the stories you will tell and was very intriguing. I was actually disappointed when there wasn't a story to read yet, because you basically got me hooked. One very small suggestion is to make the font on your introduction a little bit smaller of a size. Not much smaller, but because of how big it is, it is kind of hard to read. Also, once I got to the dialogue I felt like it needed to be smaller just so I wasn't having to scroll so much. That's just something I thought though.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, although I really liked your cover page and it caught my attention, I feel like you need something else on there. I don't know if an additional picture, more words or a background would help. But although it was cute, it made me feel like something was missing. Other than those little tips, I thought you did a great job and I was impressed with what you have so far! I can't wait to read your stories! Keep up the great work and have a great rest of your semester!
Shelbi, I chose to read your storybook for my free choice in this week's commenting! First of all, I love your pictures you included. I love animals, especially the 'majestic lion'! Since I did not read the Aesop’s fable, your author’s note was quite helpful to read before reading your storytelling for the Lion and the Ass. I like how relevant the overall theme of this story is to all of our lives today. Even if we aren’t animal kings, we are tested everyday with various obstacles and tasks. I like how it reveals the importance of integrity, always doing the right thing despite whether people are watching or not. I like you made breaks in the story and had the story change to one in reality where the grandfather is telling his granddaughter the story. I enjoyed reading this story, your writing style is unique; and I like how your story was very clear and easy to follow and understand. I can’t wait to read the rest of your storybook project! I think animal stories are always fun and entertaining to read! I hope you can checkout my storybook project and see what you think!
ReplyDeleteShelbi, what a wonderful storybook! Firstly, I love the set up of your storybook. The dark yellow color scheme and the picture on the front page is simply beautiful. I also think it sets up a good idea for how you want Grandfather Lion to be depicted! I do think maybe you could change the fonts a little to make it a little more interesting? Just something to think about! But I really liked your intro, I thought it set up the storyline very well! The idea of having someone study lions, and those who can talk nonetheless, is such a creative idea! Also, the fact that he's a storytelling lion is so wonderful; I think many people feel all that male lions do are lay around in the sun all day, so adding a storytelling aspect to that is cool. Your first story is wonderful as well! I loved how excited the author got when he said he was going to tell his first story, and your intro set up the stories so well! I think the way he told it was great; how the little cub interrupted him and he turned it into a patience lesson! I think that ties in well with the overall theme of the storybook, like how they teach their cubs all these lessons from a young age. You have a great storybook so far and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteJust by the title of your storybook I am super excited to read it! I love Aesop's Fables and I actually almost did my storybook over the lions, or rather big cats, of Aesop's Fables. I LOVE the cover picture! It is adorable! The picture from your introduction is gorgeous as well! I think your introduction is very well written. When I first started reading it I thought you had ACTUALLY gone to study lions for a while! Then I realized that lions can't actually talk so you probably hadn't done that... I liked how easy your intro was to follow and how you basically made it into a giant thesis statement. It helps me know what to expect, story plot wise, in the future. I also really liked how you used yourself as the main character in the story! It made it seem so much more real!
ReplyDeleteGrandfather Lion is the one from the cover photo! Haha, that is so cool! I really liked how you told the story. I felt like I was standing in the crowd of animals watching the great lion walk to take his place on the hill. I haven't read that particular story, but I like how you stayed true to the original, just adding elaboration. Very well done and I look forward to reading more of your stories later on down the line!
Hey Shelbi, I just wanted to say thank you for your comment on my storybook project! It really helps to get feedback, especially when it comes to this website. Often times its difficult to know if your writings and storytelling makes sense to the audience. I am happy to know you enjoyed my theme for the website. I hope you enjoy the rest of it and thank you again!
ReplyDeleteMy first thoughts upon going to your cover page were that the picture is so funny! The lion looks like he is some sort of detective and it really interest’s me! I think that you picked a good color scheme for your storybook because the yellow color is somewhat of a lions fur color so it goes nicely with the theme! I think it may look a little more pleasing to the eye if you were to center the picture just because the eye is not necessarily drawn directly to it when it is off to the side. But overall I think the cover page looks good! After reading your introduction post of the storybook I found that I was far off on what I though your story was going to be about! I think that this is such a great and creative idea! How did you come up with it? Also I think it is great that the lions can talk and that they are willing to communicate with the human. I think it is cool that each story will be the grandfather lion retelling the story of his pride since we are retelling stories each week in this class! Great job so far!
ReplyDeleteHi Shelbi!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to thank for the nice comment you left on my week two storytelling post. I was worried combining two different stories might make it confusing, but I'm glad you said that you enjoyed it. Thank you for the encouragement!
Shelbi, thanks so much for your comments on my storybook! You're such an encouraging and positive person and I'm glad you've enjoyed my storybook so much this far! Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for you comments Shelbi! I really appreciate them and I am glad you enjoy my stories. It gives me inspiration to keep writing some more!
ReplyDeleteShelbi,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the Aesop tales that I read at the beginning of the semester, so I was already looking forward to reading your Storybook. I like that you show us a picture of the storyteller in the welcome page. It definitely looks like a lion with some interesting stories to tell.
I think you have set up the Storybook very nicely in your introduction. It is fun and creative to have yourself as an interviewer for a particular pride of lions that you have been studying. You make it very clear what kind of stories we will be reading, too. These stories of wisdom, strength, righteousness and love are also easy to navigate in your navigation bar. You also set up a practical way to expand the very short Aesop tales by asking Grandfather Lion to expand on a few of the stories.
I read “Grandfather’s Story of Wisdom”, too. I thought this was a great story to show off the lion’s wisdom. It’s hard sometimes to choose to stay out of a battle, especially when it is provoked by a fool. It seems that the lion knew that if you choose to fight with a fool, you will end up looking foolish yourself. It was a great story!
I really like the design of your storybook page. The thing that makes me like it the most is the picture with the old lion smoking a pipe and the warm background that give the page a good tone for the story. The overall design is pretty clean and easy to navigate.
ReplyDeleteThe introduction has an awesome picture. Also, the dialogue is very well done, and the intro does a great job of setting up the stories. It hooks you to want to hear the story about the lion falling in love with a human right away.
The first story also has a wonderful photo, really funny. I really like the way that you added the black bars to differentiate between the story scene and the storytelling scene. You made the right choice to add more to the characters of the story.
The second story's photos definitely are not on par with the others on the web site. It makes me feel like the whole story will not be as good just because the photo sets the tone. Also, the black bars were definitely used in a different way. They did not separate the story in the same manner of the actual story and the telling of the story. Fix those things and you will have another great page.
Hi Shelbi, I have already visited your storybook and commented on the home page and introduction. I decided to revisit your storybook as my free choice this week and read the first story, “Grandfather’s Story of Wisdom.” The beginning of your story is exciting! I liked that the Grandfather lion gives such great advice. Once we have wisdom we can’t lost it! I love that the Donkey’s name is Boris. I’m not sure why but as soon as Boris was introduced I began to laugh and was looking forward to reading about how this donkey was going to test the lion. The detailed description you gave of Boris was on point. Setting up the character of Boris as a drunk is very entertaining. I liked that you used “tipsy trot”, “saunter”, and “slur” while describing Boris’ actions. A donkey is also the perfect animal to play this foolish character and I’m glad you kept that from the original story. I’m sure many King animals would want to strangle Boris so I’m glad you included the lion’s honest thoughts that way it is relatable. The way that the lion reacted to Boris’ comment is definitely worthy of being passed down to the lion cubs. The grandfather is doing a great job of teaching his cubs!
ReplyDeleteThe cover page is really cute! The drawing sets the scene well - just the right blend of whimsical and humorous I think you’re going for. Super well done, and the golden theme you’ve picked just adds to the whole thing.
ReplyDeleteThe introduction explained things well - the reasonings and explanations for the theme, and why the lions are sharing these stories. I like the thought that you’ll have to nab the attention of the cubs - a very effective way to think about the audience! I’m not exactly sure what you’re drawing from here (didn’t know Aesop had any lion tales) but I’m positive the stories will be great.
I enjoy how you give each story a trait. It’s a very nice tie in to the values you kept repeating in the introduction. I read the Story of Wisdom, and ended up a little confused. The story is rather abrupt. I know it’s from a storytelling perspective (not to mention word count problems) but it seemed rather quick to me, the lion’s decision to move on. He remembered words and walked on. You get the point, but it seems a rather stunted moment for such a large event. I mean, this decision is supposed to affect the entire reign (at least it’s implied) and it just seemed abrupt and understated. Perhaps giving a bit more thoughts as to why Lion decided to move on instead of just ‘he remembered words of wisdom’ to help explain it better.
ReplyDeleteHey Shelbi
I started cracking up when I saw that picture of the lion with the hat and the pipe. It looked like a lion collided with Sherlock Holmes! Genius! I was a little confused by your introduction at first but then I realized that it was a person who was studying a group of lions and not one of the lion members wanting to know more about where they come from. What I really enjoyed was the experimental aspect of the introduction. They observed and recorded information, even though there is not a hypothesis. I also like that you tell the reader the overall themes of the stories: wisdom, strength, and righteousness. I really enjoyed that you made one of the lion cubs interrupt your story. So typical of little kids to get antsy and interrupt in the middle of a storytelling. I fell as though you brought a very realistic element into your stories, especially since Aesop’s Fables were originally intended to be told to the youth to teach them and help them learn on their journey into adulthood. The Grandfather’s clarification at the end is excellent. I really enjoyed how he clarifies that the story is not just about this one thing but it is all encompassing of many other important traits in a young lion cub. Excellent job. Keep up the good work!
Shelby,
ReplyDeleteWhat I loved about the stories...well, I enjoyed almost everything about them, but one thing that really stood out to me was the use of the characters in the story being the storytellers. It felt like Aesop, this whole time, was a wise, anthropomorphic lion and we just never realized it. Anyway, I thought the setup for the stories was great, obviously. I also really enjoyed the retelling of each story. It was really cool for the lions to be the ones getting to hear of their history. It felt much more like a lesson than a fable (if there is a difference).
I also really loved all the pictures of lions. I like lions a lot, so it was really cool to see, especially the angry lion. Brutus, is it? That looked awesome! I am also a big fan of a Sherlock Holmes look for Grandfather Lion. Anyway, I really enjoyed what I read today, and will definitely have to come back to your Storybook throughout the rest of the semester to learn a little more about these lions' Pride History. Great work!
Shelbi,
ReplyDeleteAs this is my first time visiting your storybook, I must say that I love the scheme you chose! The background works so well with the picture of the lion that I feel like I really could pass him by in the desert.
With the details you use in the introduction I feel like the narrator (you) is really sitting there telling me about these lions. I think it is interesting that you decided to allow the lions to speak for themselves. It opens so many possibilities for stories to use.
The thing that threw me off on the stories is the black borders you used but once I read it, I think I understand that you used them to divide the storytelling from the real life situation happening. I almost get a Lion King feeling from this story! I really love the interaction between all the cubs and the Grandfather. The morals he is teaching them are really great too. Aesop’s fables really leave a lot of room for creativity and you are nailing it.
After reading all your stories, I think I really like that you are sticking to different lessons to be taught. I am definitely looking forward to reading more from you.
First of all, I think your introduction is really interesting! If it were real, that would be extremely awesome if you got to interview and study talking lions (provided they didn’t eat you, ha ha). As for the dialogue in the introduction, it’s well done. It conveys all the information needed by the reader to understand what’s going on while not being awkward. Also, I like how you convey the personality of the grandfather lion as being wise and strong.
ReplyDeleteAs for your first story, I thought it was good! I think it’s interesting that you give a less foolish reason (in a sense) for the donkey speaking out against the lion than the donkey has in the original story. Rather than the donkey being flat out senseless, you make him a drunkard and thus impaired by wine. I also like that you give a clearer reason than in the original story as to why the lion doesn’t kill the donkey on the spot. It makes a lot of sense that the lion would have lots of self-restraint because he didn’t want his dad to not believe in him.
I liked your second story as well! I think it’s adorable that the grandfather drops his hat and makes an exploding sound; it seems like something a grandfather would do to amuse his grandchildren. As for the plot of the story, I thought you did a really good job! Like in your first story, the motivations for the actions of the characters made sense, such as why the grandfather lion allowed the leopard to steal the antelope carcass. Anyways, your retelling of the original Aesop fable worked so well!
The third story really does do a good job of highlighting the nobility and wisdom of the grandfather lion’s grandfather. It’s good that the lion didn’t trust the fox (his name was sly, after all), and instead used his own judgment in order to figure out what happened. And I’m also glad that you changed the ending to the original Aesop fable by not killing the fox. It would have seemed kind of cruel; instead, allowing the fox mercy while punishing him I believe showed a lot of strength in the form of partial forgiveness.
Anyways, well done! I can’t wait to read your last story!
I read both of your stories “Grandfather’s Story of Strength” and “Grandfather’s story of Righteousness”. After reading your author’s note for the strength story I think you did an excellent job on the changes you decided to make. I like you incorporated such a valuable lesson for the lion cubs; I thought that was perfect! In addition, I thought it was wise to change the animals so they accurately fit with the setting of your story. I love animals, especially lions so I have really enjoyed looking at your pictures! I also liked how you utilized the dialogue. I feel that really is an important style of storytelling and it definitely makes it more realistic and interesting for the readers. I appreciated how you gave kind of a story or background before getting into the grandfather revealing the story. For both stories I thought it was a great idea to put direct quotes from the original story in order to display what you changed or kept the same. I adored your story about righteousness. It was cute how the grandfather tells the lion cub that their duties are to protect and serve others that cannot do so themselves. Great Job Shelbi! Can’t wait to read the last story about a lion falling in love with a human!
ReplyDeleteI have come back to your storybook as my extra comment because I loved it the first time I read it! I forgot the name of the storybook for a while and who wrote it so I missed out last week! But then I found it again! I still love how you write like it is completely normal for a woman to be writing down stories that a lion smoking a pipe and wearing a hat is speaking to her and the cubs of a pride. Oh you know, just another wednesday. I can just imagine myself sitting next to your main character, enjoying the stories out in the hot savannah sun, wrestling with cubs. It is great!
ReplyDeleteDo African buffalo eat meat? would they have actually eaten the antelope? I know it makes no difference, because I still love your story, it just caught my attention as rather odd. Maybe if he had been a wild dog or a hyena? I think you did a wonderful job retelling the story. After reading your author's note, I think you did a great job of working it into your story's environment and having it work how you need it. Great job! I cant wait to read the rest!
I had already visited your storybook in a previous week so I jumped straight to reading your stories since I had already commented on your cover page and your introduction page! In your first story Grandfather’s Story of Wisdom; I think it is so cute that the lion is sitting with all the other small young restless cubs around him. I think that you did a great job of showing how eager and excited the cubs are to hear about their history. I think that helps to strengthen the fact that the whole point of the story is to have the human be writing all of these stories down. I like the cubs reaction to him telling them he just brushed the donkey off. It was a good lesson for them to learn that sometimes you just have to let things go and not let them bother you. I really like that you decided to include a picture on this story page because I feel that it really helps to strengthen the information that the reader is going to be getting out of the story. So far great job, I think you have a very storing storybook and it was a great idea!
ReplyDeleteI came back for another Lion story and I was not disappointed. I had already read this fable myself, so it was really cool to get it from the Lion's perspective in a way. Or at least with the background the Grandfather Lion had set up. Anyway, I really loved the continuation of the running theme of different lion character traits. Plus, this story was just a lot of fun to read.
ReplyDeleteAgain, I can't get enough of Grandfather Lion. Everything just screams British with him. I love that. I am also really excited for the final story. I think it is going to be a story of "Love", coming from the end of the "Righteousness" story, but I keep racking my brain and coming up short on an Aesop Fable that is about a lion that falls in love with a human. Should be a good read!
Hi again Shelbi,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your entries into your storybook, I'm glad I decided to come back and read some more. First off I love your picture choices for each section, they are very cool photos that fit well into your stories. The one for the story of strength was hilarious. I also like how you tied all of the stories together by having the grandfather lion tell the cubs all of those stories with morals, which kept the original purpose of the fables which was to instruct. It is also the first time I have seen anyone divide the segments of each story by breaking them up with a line, it actually works really well, since sometimes stories jump around without the reader noticing. I also liked how you tied your stories together involving the lion's family history instead of just making them unrelated short stories that the narrator tells.
The only thing that threw me off was that in the story of strength, Brutus fights a buffalo for the dead antelope to eat. I liked how the story turned out but I wish you would have used a different animal other than the buffalo, which is not carnivorous. Again, that is me nitpicking because your story is very good and very difficult to find any errors in.
I have actually read that story before and I think you did an excellent job retelling it! I also have to say that I love how you write your stories. The flow so well from the lion and main character interacting to the story being told and then back to the real world of the story. I love how your characters interact and that grandfather lion has to wear his hat and have his pipe to tell his stories! I could imagine a little old human man doing the exact same thing with his own grandchildren! I also think it was a good idea to have the lion not kill the fox, for the sake of the cubs, but also because I think it wouldn't make the lion as righteous and the story was trying to show. By sparing the fox and just exiling him, he is showing that he isn't just a murderous brute, but a good and righteous king! I am curious as to how she knows what his last story is going to be. Did he tell her at some point and I just missed it? If possible, maybe give just a little clarification on how she knows what the story is? Unless you already have and I just can't remember... Which is highly possible... Anyway, wonderful job! I can't wait to come back and read the last story!
ReplyDeleteShelbi, thanks for the input this semester on my storybook, The Princess Constellations! The gif seems to have been a big hit!
ReplyDeleteI had definitely intended to give these stories modern princess feels. If I had continued with my storybook, my next one was going to be a Sleeping Beauty feel! Dang!
Hopefully the semester was good for you! Thank you for the kind input!